ILMINGTON, DE — Never before masked in public, presumed Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is, for the first time in his political career, having inexplicable difficulty with putting his foot in his mouth.
“We’ve never seen this before,” Democratic pundit Paul Begala said Tuesday. “Typically, Biden’s out there talking about facing down Corn Pop and saying things like ‘we choose truth over facts,’ but the mask has changed everything. I mean, he spoke yesterday, and I can’t tell you a single thing he said. It’s absolutely incredible.”
Indeed, recent Biden speeches have been wholly unremarkable, representing a drastic departure from his typically rambling and incoherent public remarks. Even while discussing the delicate subject of race at this fraught moment in time, Biden has somehow been unable to generate one of his typical gaffes, frustrating aides and pundits who have come to rely on him as a much-needed source of comic relief in government.
Sources close to Biden say that the mask has represented both a literal and metaphorical impediment to his efforts to fit his foot into his mouth on every occasion, and he may continue wearing one even after the pandemic in order to discourage him from sniffing people.
[Photo Credit: Carlos Barria/Reuters]
